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THIDA, a name given by the writer, is
a 27-year-old housewife who has 2 dependent children. She
has phoned our program in hope of a solution to her family
problem. Below is THIDA’s story. |
THIDA got married in 1999 in Kompong Chhnang province. Her husband
is a farmer who made a living by buying and selling pigs while she
sold some groceries at home. Since their marriage, the couple had
been living with each other happily until they had 2 children. A
year after the birth of the second child, her family business did
not go as smoothly as it used to, which eventually caused disputes
in the family. One day, THIDA had a blazing row with her husband
because she had learned that her husband did not lose his money on
the business but on his mistress, who lived 20 kilometers from her
village. Since then, her husband left the house without any news of
where he was and she did not know where to find him as well. THIDA
was left to worry not only about her husband but also the idea of
raising 2 children alone. What was more disturbing to her was the
possibility that she may have been infected with a disease from her
husband, like AIDS. She lost a lot of weight to this anxiety and
fear. Although THIDA had gone to see a doctor, her condition still
did not improve, and this worried her even more.
One day, THIDA paid a visit to her elder cousin who was seriously
ill with AIDS. At that time, she was reminded of the condition of
her illness, but she was not brave enough to share it with anyone.
After dinner, THIDA and some neighbors got into a discussion in
order to find a way to save her cousin. One of her neighbors had a
daughter who worked in a garment factory in Phnom Penh, and she had
the telephone number of the AIDS Program of Inthanou Association.
They then decided to call up the number for advice. Inthanou
consultants told them the importance of taking the patient to the
hospital because the patient needed treatment of opportunistic
diseases and to receive anti-retroviral drugs before it was too
late. THIDA and her friends were also told of the location and name
of the hospital to which they should send the patient.
After the event of her cousin’s case, THIDA hopefully thought that
this program may also be able to help her, so she secretly kept the
telephone number for contact when the right time came. As soon as
she got back home, she called the program and recalled her family
story and the condition of her illness to the consultants. In
response, the consultants explained to her about the symptoms of
opportunistic diseases and a number of similar cases that could
worry the patient. They encouraged her to go and consult with a
doctor of general medicines first or choose to have a blood test in
order to remove all of her doubts at the nearest voluntary
confidential and free of charge blood test service to her community.
A week later, THIDA made up her mind to get a blood test as
recommended. The result showed she did not have HIV. Hearing so, she
was so happy that she called to share her good news with the
Inthanou Program. Gradually after this, she grew stronger and went
to consult with a psychologist as advised.
A year later, THIDA made a call to our program again with another
problem. Her husband had returned and that he wanted to have sex
with her without using a condom. He strongly disagreed with THIDA’s
idea that he should have a blood test for HIV. He claimed that he
had never been careless every time he had sex. Fearing so, THIDA
refused to have sex with her husband, and this irritated him so much
that he began to accuse her of having a secret relationship with
another man. THIDA was in flood of tears when she told the
consultants of the Inthanou Program that she dared not discuss this
matter with anyone, fearing that her neighbors would learn about
this shameful issue. We consoled and encouraged her to find other
peaceful ways and give good reasons by using sweet and consoling
words to explain to her husband in order to avoid the use of
violence for solution which could lead to domestic violence. Also,
our consultants recommended a number of methods that could draw her
husband’s attention towards to the advantage of having as blood test
such as pasting up on the walls pictures of prevention methods,
blood test or tuning in to educational program on TV or radio or
leaving the telephone number of the Inthanou Program in the
bathroom. THIDA then did as the consultants said. A few weeks later,
THIDA noticed that her husband had calmed down and that he caused no
more rows. One day, her husband handed her a letter and told her
that he had called to Inthanou Program without her knowledge and had
had a blood test as suggested by the consultants. Fortunately, the
result of the blood test showed that he did not have HIV and he was
very happy indeed. He was also sorry for his bad acts which resulted
in the loss the family property and time. He promised to THIDA that
he would work harder to make up for his past mistakes. Her husband
agreed to use condom for the time being until the result of the 2nd
blood test in the next 3 months because they wanted to have another
child. THIDA said that her husband’s sudden agreement to use condom
was a big surprise for her because he had early refused to do so no
matter how hard she tried to ask him. She had never expected to see
such a big change in her husband. THIDA and her husband decided to
call up to thank Inthanou Program for helping her family find
happiness again. For all this time, Inthanou had been giving her
lots of encouragements from time to time, courage to overcome fear,
and hope in facing the truth.
THIDA and her husband have now become the regular clients of
Inthanou Program. She always calls for consultation every time she
has a problem and helps introduce the telephone number of Inthanou
Program to her friends and the people whom she knows.
