INTHANOU would like to present the true story of a 27 year old-widow. We will call her Neary (not her real name). Neary has 3 children and is HIV+. She has permitted us to post her story on the INTHANOU web site, as she wishes to share her experience.

Neary currently lives in a rented flat in the suburbs of Phnom Penh. She often uses her neighbor’s mobile phone to call INTHANOU
. Neary's story starts off well. When she married in 1999, she and her husband rented a small plot of land for farming, in a province close to Phnom Penh. The land provided them with a modest income. Three years after her marriage Neary had two children. Herself and her husband were able to save enough money to buy a plot of land and build a small house. Unluckily, their farm was damaged by a flood and they became bankrupt. Following this disaster Neary's husband decided to abandon farming and seek a job as a construction worker in Phnom Penh. Neary told us:

“For the first few months, my husband came home every two weeks and gave me all his earnings. Even though our income was barely enough to cover our cost of living, we never quarreled. My husband loved me and our children very much. I really trusted him. Later on, his income became less and less but I never asked why. Two years later, I was pregnant again, but my health was weaker than during my second pregnancy. However I didn't feel concerned, I thought it was normal for a pregnant woman to feel unwell. Soon after delivering my third child, my husband became ill and told me he had chest pain. He coughed constantly and was always exhausted. When he developed a fever, I brought him to hospital. The doctor said that my husband had Tuberculosis, which would take 9 months to treat. At that time, the doctor suggested my husband should have a HIV blood test, but he refused and requested to return home. I saw an advertisement for a traditional drug for treating TB so I collected enough money to buy it.. One month later, his condition become more serious and I had no money left to buy drugs, so I urged him to go back to hospital. When the doctor requested us to take a HIV blood test, we both agreed. The results showed that we were both HIV+. I was very frightened and hopeless and found it difficult to believe that my husband had other partners. However everything was too late, I could not roll back the time. I stayed at the hospital to care for him and kept my children with a neighbor. One week later my husband died and the doctor explained to me that tuberculosis is a common opportunistic disease that can kill people living with AIDS.  After my husband died I was desperate as all our savings were gone, my children were still young and I was HIV positive. I felt ashamed and decided to sell my house and rent a new small place in the suburbs of Phnom Penh. One day a close relative visited me. After telling her my story, she tried to console me and advised I contact INTHANOU
.. She said that INTHANOU
would be able to help me especially when I had health problems. Later I called INTHANOU
's number to ask for information. I had heard that people living with AIDS could receive support such as rice or money. Finally following advice from INTHANOU
, I received support from a non-government organization (NGO). "

By acting on INTHANOU
information, Neary accessed the services of an NGO who provides services to widows. This NGO trained her to become a dressmaker and helped her children attend school. After completing the training course, the NGO gave Neary some funds to start her own business. Her 3 children were tested for HIV and the youngest one tested HIV positive. Now Neary and her youngest child are receiving health care and follow up support from a home care team.

Neary's dressmaking business is doing well. She wants to give this message to all men:

“Every husband should be faithful to their wife.
If a man has sex with someone besides his wife
he must use a condom” 

INTHANOU
wishes Neary and her children good luck and happiness!!!

Edited by:
Mrs Mary Dunbar
Senior Strategic Behavioral Communication Officer
PATH Cambodia

Page last updated: December 20, 2006.

INTHANOU Association. Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Tel: 023 986 240; E-mail: info@INTHANOU.org